Doing Life Well

Each of us is responsible for the estimated 100 trillion cells that make up our bodies. 100 years ago people died from infection, but today the majority of deaths are from preventable conditions. My grandfather and father both died of prostate cancer, and I have been a prostate cancer survivor for 6 years. Your probably thinking waiting and watching my cancer spread must be nerve wracking, and I guess it could be if I dwelled on the things I can’t control. But each day I focus on those things that give me the energy to do life “well”. What will you do today to ensure you have the energy to do life “well” tomorrow?

Sunlight Clasps the Earth and Moonbeams Kiss the Sea

My mom met my dad at Muskingum College in Ohio, where she was an English Major.  She loved the flow of words and the rhythmic pleasing patterns they formed when placed just right.  Poetry was her choice for a good read on our back patio where the birds and squirrels played chase in the trees, and the shadows danced on the paved patio squares.  Yesterday, I stopped in an MD Anderson garden as I walked back from a meeting, and heard her voice, “And the sunlight clasps the earth / And the moonbeams kiss the sea: / What is all this sweet work worth / If thou kiss not me?”  She was a romantic and as cancer took her body, she found solace in her Bible, faith, and poets like Shelley.  Gifts she gave to me.  What gifts are you giving others? 

Berlin Wall and Freedom

I served the majority of my active Army tour in Europe protecting nuclear weapons, which required a Top Secret clearance.  The Berlin Wall was still up, but there was an agreement between East and West Germany that American service members could take a bus trip into East Germany if they wore their uniform.  We arrived at Checkpoint Charlie; the MPs took our papers and immediately pulled me off the bus.  Their commander told me the risk of going in with a Top Secret clearance, but if I did go in, I was not allowed off the bus.  I took the trip, and when everyone else was visiting the parks, monuments and museums, I sat on the bus and occasionally waved to the East German soldiers that stood guard over the bus and me.  It wasn’t the trip I expected, but being confined to the bus in a city surrounded by a wall and barbwire, as I left the bus, I realized the true preciousness of freedom.  Don’t ever take our freedom for granted.

Living in the Here and Now

It had been a really intense workday.  I left work tired and hungry, and since MaryBeth had already eaten I headed to Jason’s Grill.  After parking my scooter I noticed a group of Tibetan Monks taking pictures with the full size Santa statue near the fish fountain.  We talked for a few minutes about the program they will be performing today using meditation and a tantric ritual, entitled “Cutting through the Ego”.  Their host came, I said my goodbyes, and ran up the escalator to Jason’s Grill for I had let go of my intense workday, and was once again anchored back in the here and now.  You probably won’t get a visit from Tibetan Monks this weekend, but you can strengthen your resilience by living in the here and now.

The Consequency of the Chase

Link Jim Loehr The Only Way to Win

We came out of the chapel, and they stood there in their full dress whites waiting to form the arch of swords that would honor the newly married couple. Gosh I love uniforms! It probably started in the 50’s with Cub Scouts and the blue cap with gold trim, quickly replaced by my Boy Scout uniform with colored patches, badges, and Order of the Arrow sash. And then the Army with my golden ranger tab, silver airborne wings, and hat with a paratrooper patch. Was it the uniforms, or was it belonging to groups that created purpose and passion in my life? Jim Loehr, in his book The Only Way to Win, talks about “it’s not what you achieve, but about whom you become in the consequence of the chase.”

Be Where You Are

Friday, I left with a suitcase packed with clothes for the wedding, planned family gatherings, exercise walks, and play. I also took my briefcase filled with 1 “must finish” project, and 2 work projects that I had been nursing for several weeks. Our first evening in Annapolis we ate together, shared happy memories, and reconnected with the joys of extended family. After that first evening I felt an inner harmony, a delight with just “being where I was”. The last morning in Annapolis, I finally got around to opening my briefcase, not for work, but to check the number of our return flight. Buddha said……”be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life.”

Ubuntu

This past weekend, a Naval Academy Chapel wedding brought the Schaffner family together for 4-days in Annapolis Maryland.  My mom was a Schaffner, and like most families spread across too many States, it’s weddings and funerals that bring us back together to meet new family members, share stories and love.  As the weekend progressed and I watched our family do what families can do so well when they get together to experience and celebrate life. I thought about years ago watching Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Bill Clinton talk about “Ubuntu”.  Ubuntu is an Africa worldview; “I am because you are, you are because I am”, or our lives are bound together and this shared love is the essence of being human.  Be resilient in your Ubuntu today!   

The Little Prince

Last night my wife and I ate at Whole Foods, I’m heading to Orlando for a presentation, and she needed a few things for lunches. There was a young child waiting with his mom in the checkout line, he looked just like the little prince in Saint-Exupery’s book The Little Prince. As we ate, MaryBeth told me about her day, but I was lost in the Sahara desert or was it a fable imprinted deep within my soul. This morning I turned to the torn yellowed page of my journal decorated with hand drawn blue ink flowers, and a thought captured in tears years ago, “and through all the tears, sadness, and pain, comes one thought, that brings internal smiles – I have loved and been loved.” Tell someone how much you love them today.

"Hovering" for Health

Kevin Volpp, M.D., Ph.D., founding director of the Center for Health Incentives and Behavioral Economics Penn, research suggest that because of present-biased preferences and the intangibility of the small steps required in behavior change, just having the knowledge and skills to make a change is usually not enough to nudge ourselves forward. Most of us need ways to be better engaged in the change process and Volpp has a new model he calls “automated hovering”. Last year my good friend Susan Bailey and I were teaching in Tampa, and doing long walks to unwind, she wore a Fitbit that gave her continuous feedback about steps walked, climbed, distance and sleep quality. I bought one and immediately experienced the benefits of automated hovering – 20 pounds lighter, I’m a believer. Consider your behavior change needs today and ways to increase “hovering” for better health. (Link) How to Get People to Live Healthier

Freedom of Gratitude

Saturday, I was the lone scooter in the Sam’s Jam Riders for the Cure motorcycle ride raising dollars for cancer research at MD Anderson.  We traveled 40 miles under the threat of rain to a bar and grill called West of the Brazos.  I ate lunch and left quick hoping to beat the rain home, but half way to Houston I had to stop and put on my rain suit and rode home in the rain.  Two blocks from my house there is a roadside cross and as I rode by it I couldn’t help thinking about the joy I experience every day.  Joy not dependent on anything, it’s just there fostered by a gratitude for life, even when it rains.  Gratitude takes us to a place beyond the controlling mind where the impossible becomes the possible and we are content with all that is already here.  Focus on the freedom of gratitude today.      

Daily Hugs – 4 = Survival, 8 = Maintenance, 12 = Emotional Health / Personal Growth

The 10 Essential Hugs of Life

I called my wife when I reached the parking garage and told her my cancer markers were down. She was ecstatic and I could feel her hug through the phone as we talked about celebrating with an inline skate followed by takeout supper. We got home about the same time, and as the cats circled our legs we did a long snuggle hug in the hallway where we both silently purred like our cats. Hugs are essential for a cancer journey and provide a dose of joy in days that can be filled with anxiety, fear, and what feels like loss of life control. Roy Spence, has a book on hugs coming out in November that has an intriguing title, The 10 Essential Hugs of Life. You might consider pre-ordering the book, but don’t let that stop you from the 12 hugs a day, Virginia Satir, (psychotherapists & mother of family therapy) suggests is necessary for emotional health and personal growth.

Cancer Checkup and Body Vibration

A rare morning ride to work with the sun already up and the clouds painted with the softness from the suns last morning yawn.  Yesterday, I taught Laughter Yoga to a small group of cancer survivors and caregiver 2-hours before my 3-month cancer checkup.  The days of cancer checkups my body has either an anxiousness vibration created by fear, or a joyful vibration created by gratitude.  After our last breathing exercise I had the class hum, and then put their hands over their ears, and hum again noting the change.  One caregiver described the change in vibration as stronger, and yet more intimate.  Learn to listen to your daily vibration, a window into your spiritual health.